Chapter Four

Roxanne Garcia
Si. I’ve never been kiss. That's true. I have not meet right one. You know, the right nino to love mi. Being Latino girl in school in Texas and not understand English that much, no easy. This American say that mi accent sounds like shit they do not understand me. They say they love, I say I lave. And this American laugh. Thank God, I have my girls. Me amigos.

Chapter 4

Roxy slammed her clothes to the floor and crawled to her mother. “Mama, please…. I don’t wanna leave Texas. This is my home. I don’t wanna move to Beverly Hills.” said Roxy in Spanish. Her mother folded back the clothes and packed it back into the luggage. Her mother rubbed Roxy’s hair and said, “Oh, chica. We have to. Papa’s career is more important.”
“Quiero quedarme aqui!” Roxy raised her voice telling her mother that she wanted to stay.
“Papa had worked hard to get this job. We wouldn’t want to spoil his dreams just because you wanna stay here, would you?” said her mother.
“This year is going to be lo peor year ever. No amigo, no romance, and no vida!” Roxy said and lay on her mother’s lap.
“Tú estás loco. You’ll have great vida, Roxy. I promise…”

“Mi mama tells me that my school is Beverly High. Chu’girls know?” Roxy asked her friends. “Oh! The school is famous! Famous people send their kids to that school. You’re gonna have an awesome year, honey!” said Jenny. “Dios mio! I miss u girls already! I will miss La No-bitchas too!” said Roxy, shedding a tear.
“ Yeah, we’ll always be the best Latin-American dancer. And don’t you cry! We will never let you leave us with tears in your eyes. You’ll have lots of amigos there. I’m very sure that any nino or nina are going to like you, okay?” said Clara.
Nelly jumped in and said “And when you found the right nino, just tell us straight away, okay? And you know what? I read a book by Francine Pascal. It tells you that, you can learn everything you want to know about a man’s heart through just one kiss…..”
"Just through one kiss?" asked Roxy.
"yeah.... Just through one kiss"

I scratched the dirt on the desk while thinking about Ben. Ben? Seriously? It does not beat fast, my heart when I think about him. But I do thought about him, a lot. When we were kids, we used to play this Ben-marrying-Al thing and we promised to stay friends forever. I’m in love with him? I don’t think so. But it’s okay for me to try to like him. He’s my friend, not my brother. It’s not a sin for me to like him. Somehow it feels like I was breaking some rules. Okay… gotta stop thinking about it too much. I stopped the scratching and focused myself back to Professor Dumbhead. Yes! That is his name.
“You’ve learn before back when you were, what? Fifteen? That when a guy ejaculates, the products will of course contribute in the making of people, like you” before Professor Dumbhead could continue, the student laughed at his statement. When he continued, I found myself floating back to my mind thinking about Ben. Again. All I could hear from professor was blablablablabla. Before I knew it, he was yelling at me. I gasped and told him the truth about me dreaming in the class. Then, I got myself a ticket to hell, a detention for calling him a dumb head. Boy, I’m in a bad state in front of the teachers.
I never feel good in making myself as a riot student in the eyes of the teachers. I love teachers. They motivated me. Somehow, I was being reasonable for calling him a dumb head. Professor Dumbhead had been scolding me for years over nothing. Nothing at all. “What’s wrong, honey? You look miserable.” said Stace as I walked out from the class room. “I do?” I asked her. She nodded and said, “Yeah, Your hair looks messy, your lips are dry, your face… so pale and you should take good care of your face…..” before she could go on, I stopped her. I didn’t want to hear anyone grumbles. Not anymore, at the moment. I was in the bad mood. Ben approached and asked me why I was in the bad mood. I told them, “Dumb head sent me to detention. I can’t believe this. I am a half-straight A’s student.” I thought about my mother. How upset she's gonna be when she finds out about it. "Yeah, Dumbhead is complicated. Man, he's a strong man. You can never flirt with him. He's..... unflirtable. Even the Fakers never manage to control him," said Stace. No one thought about flirting with him, I thought. Stace suddenly touched Ben's arm asking, "How about you, honey? Are you flirtable?" Ben blushed and looked at me. I took her hands and pulled it away from Ben. I shook my head to tell her not to do that to Ben. Ben is the kind of guy that would blush for anything. Stace suddenly jumped and yelled, "You like Ben! You were so jealous when I touched him! God, Al! You like him." Imagine the look on my face. God, it was embarrassing...
I thought about what Stace said. About me being jealous. I never see myself in the future falling for Ben. I just couldn't because we were already in the friend zone. I tried to imagine my life one day, telling my husband to have dinner with my best friend, Ben with his wife at a restaurant. And that I could. But I couldn't imagine myself actually having dinner with him alone in our house with our kids sitting in front of us. It's just.... not gonna happen.
"Hey! Where are you heading to?" Clay suddenly asked while I was on my way back home, walking. He was in his car moving slowly beside me. Clay came from a wealthy family. He got everything. The house. The car. And the girl, as what they always said. “Hop in, Al. I’ll send you home.” said Clay. I looked at him, his car and laughed. There is no way I’m gonna be sitting in that car, I thought. “Nah.. I don’t wanna create problems, Clay. Well, Dolly’s gonna freak out.” I said. He stopped his car engine and jumped out off his car. He was looking good. He walked beside me and I stopped. I looked at him with a face asking what-are-you-doing? He just smiled and said, “Let me walk you home. Just… once.” I nodded and punched him at his shoulder.
We had an awkward moment for a minute. But then Clay broke the silence by asking me about my trip to the detention room. “Well, yeah. It was my first time. And I was like, in the room, reading a comic, laughing all alone, and the jerks around me staring at me with a face saying she’s-a-psycho-bitch.” Clay laughed and I went on, “And they talked about you.” He looked up to the sky and laughed. “Really? What did they say?” he asked. I said, “They said that you were being lucky for having Dolly as your girlfriend.” He stopped and just stood there, looking at me. He chuckled. More to like a sad one. And when he did that, he closed his eyes and shook his head. “No. They were wrong actually. I’m kinda like, unlucky to have her as my girlfriend. It’s torturing, you know. Having her around.” I turned to him and laughed. He didn’t give me the chance to laugh at him even longer. He stopped me by saying words that I never thought he would. “Let me tell you something. Your life is like a… a book, you know. You as a pen and you are the one who is gonna decide of what you wanna do, which path that you’re gonna walk on and you get to write your own stories. But in my case…” he paused, “I’m only the cover of the book.” he continued. I blinked a couple of times, trying to understand his statement. “What are you trying to say to me, Clayton?” I asked, looking directly into his eyes waiting for his answers. He suddenly placed his left hand on my head, like measuring my height or something. “Wow, you’re not that tall, Filter! You’re surprisingly short,” joked Clay. I shoved him and said, “I hate it when you’re trying to act like the conversation is over.” Somehow, I laughed. I didn’t mind that he didn’t want to go on about the pen-book-cover stuff. Maybe it was about personal stuff. I didn’t get him. Of what he was trying to say. Life is the book. Me as the pen. Clay as the cover. I really didn’t understand the whole story of his fairytale. Maybe what he meant was, even though it was torturing to have Dolly around him, he’s dating a hot-chick.
“Your house is beautiful,” he commented on my house when he entered my living room. I sat and gazed at him with my round eyes. I motioned my mouth saying thank you. He sat next to me and annoyingly tapped his fingers on the couch. “My mom love oriental furniture. Well, she’s half Korean.” I said. He was surprised of what I told him, raised his eyebrows and said, “No wonder you’re pretty.” I blushed. I motioned my mouth a thank you again. “You, um… want something to drink? Coffee or tea?” I asked him. He came near me and asked, “Are you free this weekend?”
“What?!” I gasped.
“Well, we’ll have drinks. Or you wanna go to the funfair this weekend? We could hang out. Take it as a date. But not the kind of date where you and I are going to make out at the end. It’s a friend-thing.” Clay mumbled. At first I hesitated. But then I agreed. Is this a huge mistake? I asked myself.
I ran to the beach when Ben text me to meet him there. He was already there when I reached there. I sat in front of him, giggling. Again, he pinched my nose. “Would you mind if I draw a picture you?” asked Ben. I shook my head and he started to sketch my jaw. “Are you free this weekend? Cause I thought of asking you out.” Ben suddenly said. I looked at him and paused. Then I said, “No. Sorry. I’m kinda busy this weekend. School project.” He smiled to me and focused himself back to the drawing. I could see that his hand was a little shaky when I stared at it. “Don’t move, Al.” scolded Ben.
“I’m not. I’m just…… surprised, you know. That you’re very good at this. Art. You’re not very… artie kinda person before. You’re completely different now.” I said. But he smiled and focused himself completely back to the drawing. I just sat there. Enjoying the sea breeze. And when he finished the drawing, I almost got myself a heart attack when I saw it. It was me that I saw in it. Me.